How to stop being so arrogant? How to STOP bullying? by Myint Kywe 先生

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How to stop being so arrogant? How to STOP bullying?

空手先生 Myint Kywe

ဆိုရွိကိ ကရာေတးအသင္း နည္းျပခ်ဳပ္ 

ဦးျမင့္ၾကြယ္ ( ၿမိဳ ႔မ ျမင့္ၾကြယ္ )

組織空手クラブのチーフインストラクター

首席先生 Soshiki Karate (松濤館 空手)

                                      作家、歴史家,ビルマ（ミャンマー）

Arrogant people seem to think that they know everything.  Their words have been arrogant against you.  They know nothing; and they think they know everything. That points clearly to some people in human society. What can you do about it?

When you’re smiling, while the whole world smile for you! OK never mind.
Cross-cultural studies have shown that smiling is a means of communication throughout the world, but there are large differences between different cultures. A smile can also be spontaneous (voluntary) or artificial.

Use the encounter as an opportunity to improve your own listening skills or tolerance. Perhaps your weakness is impatience, frustration or annoyance. Perhaps you feel intimidated. Try to flip your usual negative approaches upside down and treat this as a learning opportunity in which you seek to listen without judging.

Aim to tolerate the person, seeking to understand what motivates him or her and how you might feel in the same position. Of course, there is no place for excusing bad behavior but at least you can listen with an open mind––you might just surprise the arrogant person.

You may choose to listen attentively. Listening is a process of patience as the human brain works about four times as fast as the mouth, and to listen effectively requires considerable self-control. There are many techniques for developing and maintaining the self-discipline needed for attentive listening.

Arrogant person is constantly saying that they are better than you and other people. It may be subtle or overt but you'll certainly know of it. You need only to be silent and patient. You should listen to attentively and allowing the other person to speak freely. Be polite and acknowledge what is said without trying to engage any more deeply. As the person talks, his or her personality will be exposed and you'll find it's either friendly and equitable or mired in insecurity and therefore likely to bring up a range of irritating behaviors.

A strongly arrogant person will usually try to downplay other people's achievements or ideas in order to make him or herself appear better.
Arrogant people will even ignore or downplay good ideas from others, as they cannot accept that others might have better ideas than themselves.

This makes reasonable communication difficult and arguments impossible to resolve fairly as the arrogant person will not accept the other person's point of view, no matter how logical/intuitive or correct it is, because the arrogant person is really having an emotional argument about his own arrogance.

Arrogance is an unpleasant unloving experience for people interacting with someone who has an arrogant personality. Most people do not like or enjoy being with excessively arrogant people which makes the arrogant person unpopular. 

Arrogant people do not notice this problem or cannot change their behavior because their personality/ego enjoys being arrogant much more than being liked by or having a respectful, loving and accepting attitude towards other people.

Arrogant people are often unable to realize they are not as good as they assume they are or have problems recognizing their own self limitations. Arrogant people are usually over competitive and don't know when to quit.
Often arrogant people can be overbearing and try to coerce/force people into doing what they don't want to do with little regard for the other person's feelings or the group's best interest.

It might help you to volunteer somewhere, if you think you have the world by the tail. Like reading to disabled people or writing letters for injured veterans or collecting shirts for poor kids. It really DOES remind you how good you have it, and how other people have to live. It is time to begin humbling. 

It is deeply connected with the practice of Four Abodes (Brahmavihara): love-kindness, compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity. As a result of the practice, this cultivated humility is expanded by the wisdom acquired by the experiences of the ultimate Emptiness (Shunyata) and non-self (Anatta). Humility, compassion, and wisdom are essential parts of the state of enlightenment.

By the way, we should be humble. We won't be proud.  Please don't be proud, be a humble person and learn Metta meditation.
Pride, conceit and arrogance can be harmful and unhealthy and cannot produce such an attitude unity, happiness, harmony and peaceful environment. We should be humble. A humble person is without pride, conceit and arrogance and being gentle, genial and easy to talk.

The Pali word metta is a multi-significant term meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill, benevolence, fellowship, amity, concord, inoffensiveness and non-violence. Metta is indeed a universal, unselfish and all-embracing love. Pessimism, arrogance, jealousy, greed, anger, hatred, and oppression are among the most dangerous enemies.

"It's hard to be humble," says an old country song, "when you're perfect in every way." Of course, few people actually think they're perfect in every way. But it can still be pretty hard to be humble, especially if you live in a society that encourages competition and individuality.

Yet even in such a culture, humility remains an important virtue. Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most spiritual traditions, and humility can help you develop more fully and enjoy richer relationships with others, as well as create opportunities and earn you respect.

STOP bullying!

Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. A bullying culture can develop in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes at school, on the road, at the workplace and at home.

Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets.

Justifications and rationalizations for such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing. 

"Targets" of bullying are also sometimes referred to as "victims" of bullying.
Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The UK currently has no legal definition of bullying, while some U.S. states have laws against it. Bullying consists of four basic types of abuse – emotional (sometimes called relational), verbal, physical, and cyber. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation.

Bullying ranges from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more "lieutenants" who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his or her bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.

Child and value of karate

How to stop bullying!

A bully is a member of the same peer or age group that your child comes into contact with regularly and who exhibits aggressive and offensive behavior towards the victim repeatedly.

Often, bullying amongst children, both girls and boys aged 5 to18, will progress to the extent where your child is mentally and physically scarred and upset.
If the situation seems threatening or dangerous, it's best to disengage.  

First of all, turn around and walk away from the bully. If you're worried for your safety, walk to a teacher or counselor you trust to help you handle the situation. Avoid further contact with the bully until you've taken other steps to end the bullying. You must report to nearest police officers, elders, teachers, and seek help from a trusted adults and teachers.

Doing this will only teach your child that escapism is the solution to life’s problems. Instead, you want to teach your child to toughen up a little and face the problems with full self confidence and courage themselves.
These are traits that your child will only learn when he knows that he is physically strong and skill in karate enough and capable of defending himself against / protect the onslaught of playground /on the road bullies if required.
Sending him or her to karate school will help your child believe and accept that he or she is more than capable of fending for himself.

Self-defense is a countermeasure that involves defending oneself, one's property, or the well-being of another from harm. The use of the right of self-defense as a legal justification for the use of force in times of danger is available in many jurisdictions.

Real Karate self-defense is the use of physical force to counter an immediate threat of violence. Karate has many counter attack methods and full contact karate (knockdown karate).

His practical karate skills will help him defend himself and act as a safety harness in the case that the bullying progresses to the level of a physical assault. Also, being awarded black, brown, green, yellow and white belts in karate classes will further motivate him, change his mindset, and help him to ultimately conquer bullying.

The all important question over here is, well, how do we put an end to this problem then? The solution may lie in enrolling your child into a karate club. A karate lesson will teach your kids is that physical power, self confidence power and strength are elements of their being that they must learn to control, self protection, patience and use only where appropriate and in a positive manner. You will notice that as soon as he or she starts studying karate lessons, they stop wasting their energy on bullying others if they are the bully or defend themselves when being bullied by others if they are the victim.

Real karate is not about fighting “it’s about…self control, body discipline, mind control and breathing techniques. It involves concentration and meditation. It’s an art, not only a sport and self defense but also humility, patience, self control, self confidence, strength of character, kindness, compassion, awareness and self discipline should always be before Self-defense.” 
 
If an enemy were insulting you, you could endure it; if a foe were rising against you, you can be more tolerant and you will be patient as much as you can.

Love is patience. Patience is a virtue. Patience is best.
But , patience has its limits. Take it too far, and its cowardice.

 

Good policy

1.Love is better than fighting
2.Tolerance is better than fighting
3.Friendship is better than fighting
4.Forgiveness is better than fighting
5.Smile is better than fighting
6.Humility is better than fighting
7.Peace is better than fighting
8.Kindness is better than fighting
9.Compromise is better than fighting

Fighting (counter attack) is better than surrender

Good luck and best wishes on your journey in Karate.